Author name: Paul Afabor

INTENTIONALITY ABOUT FRIENDSHIP

28 Comments / Life & Development / / / , ,

In this age of social media addiction, we get so close to buddies online, yet so far away. There appears to be an uncertainty as to whether chat buddies are real friends. Can virtual platforms produce true friendships? In a single room where many friends are gathered, tendencies are that they are all together, yet chatting with other persons online, and sometimes hardly even talking to themselves as friends ordinarily should, yet they regard themselves as friends. Can physical company produce quality friendships? Increasingly, one of the greatest yearnings of every heart is true friendship. With the proliferation of access to more people, especially through online platforms. It is ironic that more and more persons are getting depressed and continuously bored, unsatisfied with their present lives and looking for friends with whom they can relate, grow, work, play and share burdens with; people who would genuinely care about them and go all out without any strings attached. Admittedly, such people are the scarcest commodity on the planet. Not because it is impossible, but because the world has grown mightily selfish. Friendship is one smaller ship within a bigger ship called Relationship. Think of it this way: “Relationship” is a Blue Marlin ship. The Blue Marlin ship is a ship that ships ships. In that Blue Marlin ship, “friend-ship” is there, as well as other kinds of “ships”. Notwithstanding the stressful strain that many experience in their attempts to make friends, there is a fail proof way to make friends that last and are profitable. There are only two principles I would espouse here, in order to keep this brief. 1. He who seeks a friend, must first of all, show himself friendly. To be friendly is not equal to being extroverted. The most introverted persons can still be friendly. This clarification is necessary because many people deny themselves becoming friends with wonderful people who have come into their lives at one time or the other on the erroneous belief that they are not friendly. What does it mean to be friendly? Essentially, being friendly means to put the other person first. Exercise virtues in favour of another person all the time by helping where a help will make the endeavour better; and other virtues. The exercise and display of virtues build relationships, but every vice cripples it. 2. Do to others what you want others to do to you. Often times, we do to others what we cannot tolerate. Apart from showing oneself friendly, this principle focuses on how to show this love. The display of virtues more in favour of another person than oneself is love. Given the many different ways in which different persons perceive love, we must understand this principle to refer chiefly to feelings. Feelings are much a fact as actions are. In fact, long after people have forgotten your actions, they will always remember how you made them feel. Let me summarize this by saying: make others feel as good as you would love to always feel, in every situation. In conclusion, you would see that unless virtues are cultivated within you, you are unable to do good to another person, no matter how much you want to. Similarly, regardless of how much you wish to minister life to someone, like Moses, the ancient leader of Israel, you will impart death, if you have not gotten life in yourself. Nemo dat quod non habet — You cannot give what you do not have. Consequently, we must individually invest first in the most important relationship that will help us to imbibe and cultivate the right character in ourselves. For most people, it is only a relationship with God that can achieve such a feat, and it’s working well for them. Unless this is done, we will not be good people, let alone being a good friend to someone else. How much less then should we expect to have good friends? He who seeks a friend, must first of all show himself friendly.

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LESSONS FROM THE SQUIRREL

67 Comments / Leadership, Life & Development / / / , ,

One of our society’s primary challenge is obviously a high deficiency in leadership capabilities. Let us examine the subject for a while. Leadership, simply put, is the art and process of taking people from Point 1 to Point 2. We want to look at this through the lenses of the squirrel. Come with me. I witnessed this incident the day it happened. There was a bush on the other side of the fence of this compound, and from that bush, a plantain tree leaned against the wall. On the other side, within the compound, lavatories were being erected and they were attached to the wall, the fence. The lavatories were only at lintel level, but the lintels had not been cast. There were other trees in the compound. Then came a squirrel from the bush on a mission to cross over to the other side, that is, the trees in the compound. True to its character, it ran so fast on the fence and came to the top of the uncompleted lavatories. Then it met a wide gulf that will not let it pass over to its desired destination. It came to a halt abruptly, paused for a while and went to where it came from. I thought it gave up; but it came back, running more ferociously, now aware of the huddle it must cross. This time, that initial gulf had nothing on the squirrel. It was unstoppable, jumping through and continuing its journey. It however came to about three (3) more of such gulfs (which were actually the doorposts of the lavatories). With each new challenge of a gulf before it, it went back, jumped the previous one, the one before that, went back to the bush, and came back all the harder, until it jumped every hurdle and arrived at its desired destination. The first lesson is that to lead others, we must first lead ourselves. We leadourselves primarily by developing capacity to handle issues and situations. We develop this capacity by going the entire length of the mile, whether anyone goes with us or not. This is the way to even get reliable followers: when they meet you hard at work, your passion inspires them. The main point of the lesson gleaned is in the perseverance and the general attitude of never giving up that the squirrel portrayed. In like manner, whatever we do, we must persevere and stay till the end, as long as it is a good and noble cause. We should also make sure that we maintain the right attitude to never give up, no matter how big the mountain ahead appears to be. We should rather, calm down instead of being anxious, and plan, strategize on how to surmount the mountain. For some, part of the planning will include seeking help from others, and may include prayers. Once the planning is done, we immediately execute the plan. Remember the squirrel, how it paused for a while, evaluated the situation, and when it hatched a plan in its mind, went back immediately to execute the plan. It came out successful. This cycle remains the same whether we run as a single unit, or even when we run with others, perhaps leading them. We must inspire people always to maintain the right attitude in every situation. We must also learn and teach others to be perseverant in tackling difficult situations. In conclusion, being intentional about leadership is the only way to make great strides in life and in any field of endeavor. Good leadership does not happen by chance; rather, it is an outflow of the personality of the leader to his followers’ hearts. Since everyone is a leader, then all must therefore imbibe the right qualities and live them out.

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ON THE BRIDGE

42 Comments / Faith / / / , ,

One of my most pleasurable moments are the times I am on a bridge and passing through. Whereas I cannot place the exact reason, I have often enquired within me why that joy comes. I have resolved that whereas there may be others to be discovered, my joy comes from the fact that I am able to escape all that is down under the bridge. A bridge serves a couple of purposes. The remote service of a bridge is to make way. The more obvious services I find are: 1. An escape from the entanglement under and arrive at an earlier time. In some areas where bridges are built, they are built over existing roads. The passageway the bridge creates is oftentimes better to pass through, easier, and faster, for one to get to his destination. 2. An escape from drowning. Many other times, at the end of the present road we tread is the large water body. Yet, that is not our destination. To arrive at our desired place, one must have to cross the water. Since men are not built to fly, they have learnt to build bridges. By reason of the bridges, we can safely cross to our desired places of rest. In any case, bridges are important to arrive at one’s destination. If we remain on the road of the  lowland, we may find ourselves entangled in the hustle and bustle, and may either find it hard to step out and continue our journey, thereby arriving later than we ought to have arrived. If we do not have bridges, times will come where we are at our wits end. There will be nowhere else to turn except to go forward. In these times when going forward appears like being in between the devil and the deep blue sea, we need a bridge, so that we do not drown. Without mincing words, I have found that Jesus is the bridge of life, necessary to arrive at our designated or desired destination. Jesus is the means by which we passed from death to life. Our passage from death to life is the assurance that we can pass from any seeming dead end and yet blossom in greater dimensions, even those yet unknown to any man. Jesus assures us of this; we can rest assured. By this, we know that we have hope for life ahead. If we yield to Jesus and allow him bridge the gap between our present situations and our desired places, we will be better off. If He does, we will arrive better, faster, and in a grander style than we may have conceived. God’s presence in our lives is an everlasting signature of hope. Although unseen, he makes this hope tangible to us by tokens of signs that he shows us. He wants us to believe Him and stay put on that bridge. Do not look back, do not turn back; Jesus has got your back. There is hope and a great deal of potential for success if we stay on the bridge. We get excused of every contrary element on the way. Our best bet therefore, is to stay put on the bridge. You can read from the top again and understand in context. Jesus is the bridge. He is the guarantee of hope, a blessing that makes rich and adds no sorrow. Just one message to end: STAY ON THE BRIDGE!

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GLORIOUS SHIELD

36 Comments / Faith, Life & Development / / / , ,

The foundation of the African society is well entrenched in idolatry and wickedness. Understandably therefore, wickedness is natural to man, especially one who knows not God. He will go to any length to do as he pleases. That is why many fear “our village people”. The unsavory consequence of this is that we become scared to step out to do that which God has placed in our hands and hearts to do. For those that step out, they try to walk so cautiously that they hardly make any remarkable headway in a long time. Some of these fears are unfounded, and for others, there are actually people who rise up against them to trouble them on all sides. Others attempt to inflict us with their own unbelief in God, by making us believe when they say to us that “there is no help for us in God.” In spite of our perception of these village people or wicked friends or the actuality of their existence in our individual spheres, the Lord Almighty, whom we serve and whose we are, has revealed to us this unassailable truth: HE IS A SHIELD FOR US; HE IS OUR GLORY; IT IS HE WHO LIFTS OUR HEAD. God is the shield who bore our griefs. When He took them all on the cross, we were in Him, under cover. Regardless of what anyone might do to us, we take cover under the truth of the death of Jesus Christ for our sakes, and the victory He won for us. Now we truly can sing, God is for us, nothing and no one can stand against us; as our Shield, He bore it all for us. The arrows that would have been shot against us He endured, the curse and rejection that would have been our lot was His’ to bear. In majesty and glory He bore them for us, making a public show of them, triumphing over them in it. We are Christ’s and our lives are hid with Christ in God. Now, we can wield God’s Word as a shield too. When we enforce His words in prayer, making declarations and decrees concerning God’s word, we wield His word, and it becomes our Shield. As for God, His way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler(shield) to all those that trust in him. Understanding that Jesus is our Shield and He is with us, we can cry to Him and he will hear us, He will answer us, and He will sustain us. Fear is rooted out also. Should anyone come against us, we remain bold knowing that our Shield has made them toothless bulldogs. In conclusion, our Shield is Glorious for many reasons. First, He took all the ills that would have come to us and covered us under the shadow of His wings. Next, He put Himself inside of us so that each of us can wield this shield in our own individual peculiar situations. Lastly, though not least of all, this shield is Light. The glory that He exudes by Himself and through us paralyzes darkness and leaves them dumbfounded. By giving us Himself, he has given to us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God, and all of these are in the face of Christ Jesus, our eternal shield. Hallelujah! We step out with honor! Hallelujah! We step out with glory! We step out without fear! We have peace on every side! We can rest assured that our enterprises will succeed, because we are under cover, and the one who covers us can never be defeated. We are allies with the Commander of the Universe. Glory to God!

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JUST OBEY

28 Comments / Faith / / / , , , , ,

As young adults, we are energetic and ready to face the future. Besides our energy, the realities of life seem overwhelming and they altogether constitute another reason why we must face life headlong and squarely, if we must succeed. As we go on ahead every new day, the hurdles round and about us seem to weigh us down and sometimes sponsor the idea that we are incapable of facing the future or reaching out to live out the life we may have envisioned. Consequently, we live with the idea that the future is more out of reach than it is within grasp; it becomes a survival-for-the-fittest kind of struggle. For some of these ones, their philosophy of life is that we rise by the downfall of others. Everyone struggles to reach their desired future, even if it means to run roughshod over another. Worthy of note, however, is that all these actions are based on a fear of the unknown, fear of the future, and the desire to accomplish intended goals come what may. Notwithstanding the reality of the foregoing, this should not be the case. In life, provisions had been made for everyone especially for those who have known Jesus Christ as Lord. There is room for everyone at the top. There is no need for anxiety over what the future holds. God has taken care of everything even before we were formed. The very substance of our days were written in His book — and none can blot it out — long before any of them began to take shape in reality. Our fears are unfounded; If we stay with God, they must fade. If we will inherit the earth, shall we not dominate the paths He leads us through? Since He has put us in His special land, we need not worry because we are in a place where His eyes do not leave all year long. We are tremendously blessed. So blessed we are that we do not need to be angry with another, envy or be jealous over them. No one needs to fall before we rise. Our paths are distinct. In the Bible, a heathen nation did not know that although they were not serving the God of Heaven, He had provided for their protection. So they sought to protect themselves by bringing Israel to ruins. When they tried to curse them but failed, they brought Israel down by making Israel sin against their God. If Moab knew God’s word and mind concerning them, they would have acted differently. God had told the Israelites not to fight them because He was the one who established them in that land. But Moab’s attempt to keep themselves safe amounted to a distraction from purpose. Definitely, should there have been a mark that ought to have been met, Moab would have fallen short, for they were distracted by a cause that God had already provided for. So it is today; if we distract ourselves by unworthy causes, we presume to take God’s place in our lives, and that can earn us no good. But we will be confident if we know God’s mind about us and rest in His love. Moab was a heathen nation, but we are the children of God, heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ. Knowledge of God’s word is a defense. Similarly, in the scheme of things, had Israel simply kept to God’s commands for them, they would never have fallen to the ploy of the Moabites. They would have continued their journey, and achieved their goals safely all the way. The security we crave for, need, and desire in life is nowhere else but in Obedience to His word. Therefore, obedience to God’s word is our security. In conclusion, we must realize that God has got our backs. He’s provided all we need to succeed in life. He has indeed given to us all things that pertains to life and godliness. Let us not be presumptuous to go against the covenant. For those who do wickedly against the covenant are corrupted by flatteries, but without fail, if we know our God, and His word about us, and walk with Him in obedience, we will certainly do exploits, crushing every obstacle that comes our way. That God is for us, even when we do not know it, is our confidence. We win all the way. Jesus is for us, no one can be against us. Hallelujah!

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